Saying Goodbye

…it’s a hard thing to do.

And so, it is with a great deal of sadness that I let you all know that I will be taking a hiatus from blogging. I don’t know what this hiatus will look like, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. The only thing I’m sure of is that, if I do come back, it will not be the same.

AmbiGaming Corner is not going anywhere. You’ll still be able to come and read things that have been posted, and I may or may not still haunt Twitter and such. But it’s come to a point where I have realized that this hobby has taken up my time to the point of being at the expense of everything else I do in my life outside of work.

I thought about this for a long time. I thought of all the people who said I wouldn’t want to write about games for a living because it would get old, and a part of me inwardly frowned when I heard all those voices. Because that’s wrong. If I could write about games like this for a living, that would be great.

But this isn’t for a living. This is a hobby. My Patreon has enough support to pay for the domain name and such, and that’s about it. When I tallied the time I spend researching and writing and editing and social media-ing, I was spending 25 hours at least on AmbiGaming-related projects. I get it, that’s a hobby. But this hobby has been pursued to the detriment of other hobbies.

I didn’t realize until now how resentful that has made me toward blogging, and toward gaming.

It’s all been self-inflicted, and I get that, too. I didn’t have to post twice a week, but I knew that not posting meant not being “a part” of the community as much, and the self-imposed social pressure kept me writing. I didn’t have to engage on social media, but ditto for the self-imposed social pressure.

I’ve talked at length before (and I’m not going to link because I’m feeling lazy) about not really having a plan when I started this blog. But it exploded in ways I couldn’t have predicted, and somehow not capitalizing on that seemed like a waste, on top of everything else.

I let myself get swept up in the insane “publish or perish” mentality that I learned not only affects academia, but people who post on the internet, as well.

And that’s okay. I don’t regret it.

But I’ve decided that this is going to go back to the hobby I wanted it to be: to talk about games how I wanted to, and when I wanted to. So, after next Wednesday’s Metacognition post, there won’t be posts here for a while, until I have time and inspiration to write again.

Because this is a hobby. It’s not a job, and never will be, and so I’ve decided to stop treating this like the part-time, “unpaying” work that I never wanted it to be.

I’ll also be pausing my Patreon page (all patrons should be seeing a notification of a post around the time this post goes live), with final plans for it to be determined at a later date.

I think that’s about it for now. I’ve loved every moment that I’ve spent here talking with you, and I’m looking forward to doing that again in the future.

Until then…

Thank you so, so much for stopping by, and I’ll see you soon.
~ Athena

14 comments

  1. Sounds like a break is much needed — and as you say, you can always “reboot” at a later opportunity if you so desire!

    I understand where you’re coming from to a certain degree, and I’ve contemplated similar things every so often. But I also feel that I’ve found my writing (and, more recently, my videos) have proven to give a good amount of “structure” to the enjoyment of my hobby… and I don’t really do anything else anyway, so I don’t feel like it’s to the detriment of other things! The advantages of being a boring old git 🙂

    I hope you find the space and peace you need to gather your thoughts and decide what you want to do from hereon. It’s been a pleasure reading your posts and interacting with them, so I hope you find yourself able to come back at least in a limited capacity every so often!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish you rest and peace on your break Athena! We all need breaks every now and then. Your mental health and well-being is much more important than a hobby. With that said, the community won’t be the same while you’re gone. ❤ I won't say goodbye, because I'm sure you'll be back in your own way when you're ready. Instead I'll say: see you later!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry to hear this, Athena. You’re a very talented writer and I hope that talent will bear fruit for you one day.

    Sounds like a good recharge is needed. I hope, in time, that this break will help you rediscover your love of blogging, but don’t force it. Take as much time as you need.

    We’ll still be here when you come back!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It definitely sounds like taking a step back will be good for you. Honestly, you’ll be missed. Your posts are always wonderful to read, and it’ll be a shame not to see them popping up. Regardless though, I hope the break helps, and if you come back, I’m sure we’ll all be here.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m sorry to hear you are going but reading your post can tell it sounds like the right step for you. It can be difficult when we start putting so much time and energy into something we love to realise that even if we may love it its comming in the way of everything else. I have found myself in a similar place this year and taken the step to write and post when I want and not to any schedule and to make more time to enjoy gaming and life in general and have been feeling better because of it! I hope you have a great time away and if you choose to come back we will all be here! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I will miss you. You’ve been such a huge incredible presence in the community, and your posts have consistently been some of the most intelligent, entertaining posts I’ve seen gaming or otherwise. I respect your decision and understand that not only is it hard to do any of this, but just as hard to leave. Thank you for all you’ve done, and for all the support you’ve shown to so many. You will definitely be remembered, missed, and loved. You’re simply amazing, and I hope that you continue to do awesome things no matter where you are! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can definitely relate to those feelings a lot. I fully support whatever you’ve got to do, eh. You 100% deserve to get paid to write about games, for whatever that’s worth. And it really sounds like you lost your blogging spark. I hope you find something that ignites your passion and motivates you to blog about whatever you enjoy truly writing about. You are definitely one of the best writers out there!

    No matter what the future holds, I’m so glad you started AmbiGaming. I’ve learned so much. I still have a bunch of your posts I haven’t read yet that I’ll definitely be checking out (probably on Mondays and Wednesdays…. I’m very set schedules, haha). I’m also grateful to consider you one of my best friends (including online and offline humans I know) and you rock. Thank you for being such an awesome person! I wish you all the joy in the world, my globe-handed friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m sorry to hear you go, but I also understand. Blogging can be a full time job, hobby or not. I struggle with this myself and I’m still trying to figure out if continuing with my blog for the long haul is worth it. Whatever you decide to do going forward, it has been a joy reading your posts and I hope this hiatus allows you to re-discover all the hobbies you wish to spend time on now.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Although we’ve only collaborated for the big Zelda project (which now feels like forever ago), I’ve enjoyed following you around since and reading your content. Sounds like you need this break, and I think you should definitely take it. I myself returned from a hiatus in January and feel so much better not only about my work but about myself, too. It can be pleasing to step away from the keyboard sometimes.

    Enjoy your hiatus—I look forward to your return whenever that may be!

    Like

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