Posted by A vague tap-tap-tap causes Athena to look up. In the door of her study is an old man in a trench coat and sunglasses. He stands silently, before handing Athena a rolled-up piece of paper. She takes it and, when she looks back up, the old man is gone. Breaking the seal (of a badger in a fez), she sits down at her desk to read…
Dear Athena,
Moving right along.
So we took this time portal to the FUTURE! Should be really cool, except everything is completely destroyed. It turns out that there was this Lavos thing that straight up destroyed the world. So of course we decide that we need to save the world. We can’t let everything we know die, right? So we teamed up with this robot and a super old magical guy, and somehow he makes it possible for us to travel through light beams, and wiggity wackity, we’re back on track-ity.
Listen, I don’t want to bore you with the details, but we have a sword wielding frog and a chief of the loka tribe with us, and we’ve made some mistakes, and fought some Reptites, OH, and found out that Lavos is really an alien. *Mind-blown* So anyway, we’re in 12,000 BC and we find this Queen Zeal who is obsessed with becoming immortal. She thinks she figured out a way to do it too! She is going to use this machine to drain power from Lavos and take it for herself. She has to be stopped Athena, and more importantly – we need to get out of here!
So you’re all caught up with me now. I sure could use any wise words you have for me. Or a lock pick would work too. Please Athena, what do we do?
Chrono
P.S. I have no idea how to get this to you… maybe that old wizard guy and his light beams can help…
Athena put the letter down. Her friend had certainly landed himself in quite the adventure! She needed to write back to him, and so she picked up a quill, dipped it in ink thoughtfully, and paused, tip hovering over the paper.
“Dear Chrono…”
~ BadgersAndBowties 
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“wiggity wackity, we’re back on track-ity.” 😂 I needed the laugh, thanks! This was a very entertaining read! Poor Chrono… I’m sure Lightning Farron from the FFXIII trilogy could offer some help, if Chrono asked her nicely. The 527ish-year-old demigoddess has some time paradox battling experience, let me tell you. haha.
Seriously! This is really making me want to play the copy of Chrono Trigger I just bought… 🙂
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Aw man, the bad guys who seek immortality are always the worst.
I have no advice on time-traveling or being a hero, I am afraid, but any friend who bails you (or gets you out of jail through *ahem* more creative ways) is a friend you have to keep by your side for life.
Also, I second LightningEllen, “wiggity wackity, we’re back on track-ity” is the funniest thing I have read in a while. 🙂
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I don’t know why everyone’s always going to such drastic lengths for immortality. Don’t they know you can just start skipping your birthday! See, time is all relative, so if you don’t have a birthday, you just stop getting older. I’ve been doing that for quite some time now. Trust me. It works.
As far as advice goes, I’d say forget about the Queen for the time being and focus more on the world devourer. Priorities, really. After all, if you’re a time traveler and she’s immortal, you can kick her ass at basically any time you choose. Also, whenever you get in trouble like this, I find it’s always helpful to ask myself, “What would Solid Snake do?” It’s a surprisingly practical state of mind.
No, laying down in a puddle of ketchup won’t help. Go for plan B.
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Hiding in a cardboard box does solve a lot of problems…
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