Metacognition: Stranger Danger

We’re back with our “thinking about thinking” series! If you’re interested in our previous deep thoughts, check out the Metacognition series.  Join us for some deep thoughts (and maybe the occasional not-so-deep thought) about gaming. If you find one you’d like to answer, you can either comment below or write a post and share the link so we can all read your fantastic thoughts!

Who are three characters you wouldn’t want to meet in real life?

What a better way to start getting into the Halloween spirit than talking about some real creeps that I’d rather know from behind the safety of my television screen? It seems like such a cop-out to start naming evil villains but it’s also true. I’d have no interest in meeting the likes of Ganon/Ganondorf, Liquid Snake, Ghirahim, or any of the other villains that pop up in games. While I don’t believe any of them would kill me on sight, I can’t say that it would be a pleasant experience, either way.

Ganondorf would be too busy waxing poetic about how smart he is, even though he is constantly outwitted and outgunned by a boy in a green hat, and Ghirahim would be too busy kissing his reflection in a mirror to notice I was there. Liquid Snake would be fascinating to talk to, but I’d be afraid eventually he’d just start raving like a zealot, which would be significantly less fun.

I’d be afraid Saren‘s presence would result in me being indoctrinated. and who really wants to meet an archdemon?

Instead of going through and naming villains who might otherwise seem like no-brainer choices (other than the fact that the idea of observing some of them makes me therapist’s brain pretty intrigued), here are three characters who aren’t necessarily villains, but who I think would provide me with a really, really frightening time if we had to spend time together:

Fi from Skyward Sword

Image result for fi skyward sword quotes

Ugh. UGH. UGH.

disgusted noise

I can’t think of anything worse than having to listen to someone spout statistics and conclusions at me, especially if said conclusions were things that I would have been able to figure out for myself, like there is a 98% chance that I can buy goods at a shop and a 99% chance boots are for feet.

Thanks but no thanks.

Liquid Snake from Metal Gear Solid

You have to give a fellow his due; the man just refuses to die. Sort of, maybe, if you believe in possession/hypnosis/changing explanations.

Image result for liquid snake

But if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is constant whining and that is pretty much all Liquid does for the entirety of the game. I wanted to like him. I did. And especially during later games, I wanted him to be this amazing foil for Solid Snake in the war against the Patriots, especially considering all the twists and turns. A little, bitty part of me wanted him to be ironically in the right.

Does this happen. Nope. He has some daddy issues, because he received all the “recessive genes” of his father, Big Boss. And… that’s bad. For some reason. I guess because it has the word “recessive” in it? Does he not realize that “recessive” genes aren’t synonymous with “inferior”? So here’s a guy whining about things because he doesn’t understand 8th grade science. Whiny and stupid. My favorite combination.

All joking aside, I’m not sure I’d really want to spend a lot of time with a guy who spends all of his time trying to prove to his absent father that he is a good boy.

Related image

No thank you.

Whoreson Junior from The Witcher III: Wild Hunt

This guys such a jerk that even Geralt emoted because of him. He’s a crime lord, but more importantly (to me) he is a low-life who… brutalized and murdered a room full of women, including nailing one to the ceiling.

Velen_226.jpg

Normally I am not a fan of video games taking away autonomy, because normally I’d say I wanted to “be” the one doing the cool moves, but it was so satisfying watching Geralt beat the living daylights out of this guy. And then threaten him. And then Geralt may have killed him after Junior gave up the necessary information Geralt wanted.

Velen_231.jpg

That is how much I would not want to meet Whoreson Junior – or anyone like him – in real life.

Just a room full of “NO” on that one.

Well, that escalated quickly. What characters would you not want to meet? Is it because they are irritating or annoying on a personal level, or because they are just an atrocious human being? Do you have one “type” of character that you always hate, no matter what? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll see you soon!
~Athena

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9 comments

  1. What I’ve learned from this post is that video game characters are terrible at naming their children. Solid and Liquid Snake? Whoreson? No wonder these people suck.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Whoreson Junior is a great pick. I love how much I hate him. While Eredin is the main villain, he is just an edgelord version if every world conquerer ever. Whoreson is not only a terrible human being, he is also just a set aside as a thing you’ll deal with on your way to the “big bad guy”. Meanwhile he’s done things more cruel than the Wild Hunt while having no magic powers or special abilities. There’s a possibility that someone in our world could be like him, which makes him much more vile and creepy than an emo elf travelling through dimensions with his best friends.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know, right?? He’s one of those characters it just feels good to hate. And I see your point; I think it’s a good illustration of how one doesn’t have to be in a position of power to be an atrocious person, because the ones that fly beneath the radar can… get away with more, maybe?

      Ugh but you’re right. He’s a jerk and I was silently cheering (okay, it was out loud) for Geralt during that cutscene…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. And now I have to play the Witcher 3 solely to kill this Whoreson Junior ass… I’m getting the Xbox One version so the trophies don’t tempt me into playing it forever. 😛 I don’t know much about Liquid other than he’s Shalashaska’s arm in MGS2, haha. He does sound quite whiny when he takes over, though. “Brother!!” There’s a 98.3% chance I’d Snow Punch Fi if I met her in real life 😇

    Hm. For me I’d say, Trevor Phillips from GTA V (that guy is a psycho, but I oddly had fun playing as him, haha), Tingle from the Zelda series (he just annoys me for some reason), and Quentin the Blood Mage in Dragon Age II (so much shudder there… he’s the cause of one of the most horrific moments I’ve ever seen in a video game).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m only a little sorry… 😛

      Can’t wait to hear what you think of Liquid once you get there!! And oh man, Fi… I’ve heard Trevor actually has bipolar disorder, which almost makes it worse. Poor Tingle. He just wants to wear those green jumpsuits haha. OMG Quentin…… yeah. Just… yeah.

      Like

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